Being a Social Detective!

First Grade Classroom Curriculum:
Being A Social Detective

     Mrs. MacKinnon and I are currently teaching our First graders the social thinking curriculum based on Michele Garcia Winner's curriculum called, "You are a Social Detective: Explaining Social Thinking to  Kids".

      You may be asking "What is social thinking?" In a nutshell, social thinking is understanding that people around us have thoughts and feelings based on what expected or unexpected behaviors we demonstrate throughout the course of the day. Based on this understanding, the more expected behaviors you use, the more others will want to be with you and develop friendships with you. So, what does this really mean?  Let's start with some definitions.

     Expected behaviors are the things we do and say that give people good thoughts about us and that also make them feel good. The way you are expected to behave in various social settings can differ, based on whom you are with and where you are. For example, we act differently when we are in library (quiet/whispering voice, calm body, walking feet) than when we are at a barbecue (normal/outside voice, animated body). 
     Unexpected behaviors, conversely, are things we do and say that give people uncomfortable thoughts about us and that can make them feel unhappy, mad or sad. Again, unexpected behaviors can differ based on whom you are with and where you are. For example, having expected recess behaviors--running, yelling--in a library, would be considered unexpected.
     A Social Detective is someone who uses their tools--eyes, ears, and what they know in their brains--to figure out what is happening in a situation and to make a smart guess what will happen next, or what they should do next.

One of the concepts that we have started teaching and talking about in our lessons is called "Thinking With Your Eyes".  Thinking with your eyes means that you are using your eyes to look at others, which not only makes them feel good, but it also lets them know that you are thinking about them. In addition, when we "think with our eyes", we can use them, along with our brain, to figure out what is expected or what can happen next. 

A game that we play to teach this concept involves using a ball.  The class sits in a circle facing each other and are told that they will be able to roll the ball to someone. However, in this game, their voices are off. The only way that they can roll the ball is if they make eye contact with someone across from them. They will need to "use their eyes" to think about a person and then to pass the ball to that person. Some interesting questions come up during this game, such as "What if the person you want to pass it to isn't looking at you?" All of this leads to the discussion of the importance of eye contact and using your eyes to figure out what to do in all situations and places.

Other games that teach the importance of using your eyes for thinking are:

• Guess what I'm looking at?---Look at an item or person in the room and have others guess what they are looking at and thinking about.
• What's my plan?--Pretend that you are going to pick something up, but don't complete the action. Then have the others guess what you are doing and about to do next. Other examples included reaching for crayons/markers, sitting in a chair, or putting a coat on a chair. These examples can lead to discussions on what to do if you see someone reaching for the same crayon or chair that you want and deciding which expected  behaviors do you choose to do next.

In the coming lessons, the classes will learn more about smart/wacky guesses as well as the expected behaviors in both game playing and conversations. Stay tuned for our next blog post describing our class activities when learning about these concepts!

Here are some additional links and information about the Social Thinking curriculum:

Michelle Garcia Winner's social thinking website

IPad game that teaches social thinking concepts

Pinterest activities and information

Conflict Resolution: Part II

After learning about conflicts and how they can escalate on the conflict escalator, 2nd grade and Multi-age students have now been learning how to use the 4 step C.A.P.S. method for Conflict Resolution.   Each letter in C.A.P.S. stands for a step that each person needs to perform in order to come down the escalator.

                 

·      C = Cool Off. This is the very important first step. Students have practiced many ways to calm down or relax including taking deep breaths, tensing and relaxing muscles (Draining), counting backwards from 15, imagining yourself in a peaceful place, exercising, doing yoga, and talking to yourself about calming down. Students have learned that when their feelings have escalated during a conflict that they are not able to think clearly to solve a problem. If they do not cool off first, then they may just go right back up the escalator when they try to solve the problem. Another chart to remind students of their cooling off strategies is to look at the Zones Strategies chart.

·      Once they have cooled off, the second step is to A = Agree to work out the problem.  It is important for everyone involved in the conflict to be calm and ready to work it out. Students learned that if someone is not ready yet, they should give that person time and space to cool off. They are reminded that the cooling off process may take a few minutes, or sometimes a few days!

·       The third step is P = Point to the Problem.  Both children involved in the conflict need to share their point of view (their side of the story). A key step here is for students to be good listeners so that they understand what the other person was thinking. This is a good time for students to use an I Feel message to share their feelings/point of view. So often they realize that a conflict resulted after a misunderstanding.

·      Once the children have an understanding of the problem the 4^th step is to brainstorm some Solutions = S.  We encourage the children to come up with several win/win solutions so that each person gets some of what they want. Of course they are always encouraged to use the solution wheel.  They learn that when they have several solutions/plans they can try one, and if it doesn't work then they can try the next solution.      

Our hope is to assist children to become more independent problem solvers while at the same time recognizing when it is important to seek help from an adult. These concepts will be reinforced at school, on the playground, in class and at community meetings.

Here are some links to additional conflict resolution books, strategies, and activities for children:
Conflict Resolution book reviews

More strategies

Pinterest conflict resolution activities

Conflict Resolution: Part 1

Conflicts! They happen to everyone at one time or another.  The trick is learning how to resolve them respectfully, peacefully and kindly.  Currently in our 2nd grade classrooms, guidance has been teaching the students about conflicts and how to resolve them peacefully. Students have been learning various terminology and definitions: Conflicts (fights, disagreements or arguments); the Conflict Escalator; Compromising (win-win solutions) as well as learning about some tools that they can use to discuss conflicts without hurting another's feelings in the process.  The tools that have been discussed thus far are "I-Feel" messages and using CAPS (to be explained in our next post).
     

An important concept that the students are taught is the Conflict Escalator.  The Conflict Escalator illustrates that certain behaviors can cause a problem or conflict to get bigger and more difficult to resolve. In addition to discussing how the conflict escalates, students also discuss how their feelings escalate and move through the different Zones. 

Students are taught that the Conflict Escalator is fluid in nature.  Not everyone follows the "steps" in order.  In fact, when on the Conflict Escalator, one can go from the bottom to the top, and not touch on any of the other behaviors depicted.  Others can start at the bottom step, miss a "step" go back down and then jump to the top. When we teach this concept, we don't want or expect the students to memorize this chart. We just want them to be able to recognize that they, or someone else, is on the Escalator and then know what they can do to come down the escalator.

One of the first tools that students learn is how to use an "I-Feel" message. This is a statement that imparts a lot of important information. It lets someone know: 1) How they feel;  2) Why they feel that way (their point of view); and 3) Offers a solution to the problem or conflict.  In teaching "I-Feel" messages, we show and practice with the class the "recipe" to create an I-Feel message:

I feel _________when you ______________ because _______________.

                       Please _______________.

An example on how to use this message is as follows:

I feel sad when you say I can't play with you at recess because you promised to play with me today. Please play with me tomorrow.

These messages can be effective at resolving conflicts and allow the students to get their voices heard in a respectful manner. The hope is that when someone listens to an "I feel" message that they can then apologize for their actions and work towards a peaceful resolution.

In the next lessons, the children will learn further how their emotions are tied to the Escalator and how they can step off of it to resolve their problems using the CAPS method. Stay tuned to our next blog post for CAPS information!!

Zones of Regulation

Learning about feelings/emotions, and learning how to regulate emotions can be difficult and challenging tasks for everyone. At Nabnasset we have been using a wonderful program called the Zones of Regulation by Leah Kuypers to help teach these skills to our students. We use this program with our small counseling groups, and we also teach some of the information to our second graders in their classroom guidance lessons. We would like to share with you some of the basic skills that the students are learning in their lessons.

First students learn that feelings can be divided into 4 basic zones based on one's level of alertness and/or level of energy that one is experiencing in their body. Once they have an understanding of feelings (how feelings arise, internal body signals) they begin to learn a variety of tools to use in order to manage their feelings in the zones.

Blue zone is used to describe a low state of alertness and low energy. Some blue zone feelings are: Sad, lonely, tired, sick, or bored.

Green zone is used to describe the ideal "just right" state of alertness - one's energy is just right for the situation they are in. Some green zone feelings are: happy, relaxed/calm, confident, focused, and proud.

Yellow zone is used to describe a heightened state of alertness, one's energy level is starting to go up. Some yellow zone feelings are: Excited, worried, frustrated, nervous, upset, and silly.

Red zone is used to describe an extremely heightened state of alertness, one's energy level is very high. Some red zone feelings are: Mad/angry, very frustrated, very excited, and out of control.

It is very important to teach your child that experiencing their feelings, and being in any of the zones is not bad/wrong. The important skills that the students need to learn are how to recognize their feelings, and how to use tools to manage their feelings in the different zones.

In a very informative article discussing how to manage your zones (click here for complete article) Leah Kuypers writes: "Feelings are innate; they make us human and are part of the fabric of life. Our feelings are windows into the thoughts and perspectives we hold toward a situation, a person, or an event. As a mom and therapist, I catch myself from time to time telling someone, “Don’t worry…” or “Don’t be sad…” only to remind myself “It’s too late, the other person is already worried or sad.” Rather than offering support in the form of telling others not to feel this way or that, we can help people manage the feelings they are experiencing in an adaptive and prosocial way. I created The Zones of Regulation (The Zones) to help us do just that: support people in managing all the feelings they experience, without passing judgment on what people are feeling or how they are behaving."

Here are 2 charts which we use to help students:
This first chart helps students learn to label some of the different feelings in the 4 zones:

This next chart helps students learn a variety of tools they can learn and practice to help manage their feelings in the different zones. It is very helpful to practice the strategies with your child when they are calm, and have them pick the strategies that will work best for them.

Additional Resources:

1) Reading books about feelings is a great way to introduce your child to all different feelings. One of our favorites is: The Way I Feel by Janan Cain.

2) More feelings books to explore - click here!

3) Go to this zones of regulation blog to explore some video clips of different characters in the different zones!

4) Here are some fun Pinterest ideas if you are looking for some visual tools to use at home!

Understanding Anxiety

Everyone experiences anxiety in their lifetime.  The most common occurrences arise when meeting new people or in new experiences as well as when facing big challenges, such as giving a presentation at work or school.  It is completely natural to feel this way during these situations. Such feelings can induce various sensations such as: fluttering stomach, sweaty palms, racing heart, increased breathing, and thinking about the “what ifs”.

Here are some of the common fears found in school-aged children:

YOUNG CHILDREN: Imaginary figures (e.g., ghosts, monsters, supernatural beings), the dark, noises, sleeping alone, thunder, floods) 

OLDER CHILDREN/ADOLESCENTS: more realistic fears (e.g., physical injury, health, school performance, death, thunderstorms, earthquakes, floods).

How can one tell if anxiety is at a normal reaction or becoming more severe (an anxiety disorder)?

Jerome Bubrick, PhD., Senior Director of the Anxiety and Mood Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute, offers the following guidelines:

• Severe anxiety is out of proportion. A second grader might be nervous about taking a spelling test. A boy with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) might be so worried that he starts studying for the test a week early and loses sleep for days.
• Severe anxiety is being overly self-conscious. A girl might be nervous before performing in her first recital. Someone with social anxiety disorder might have a panic attack prior to ordering in a restaurant.
• Severe anxiety is often unwanted and uncontrollable. A typical kindergartener might cry at school because he misses his mother. An older boy with separation anxiety disorder might cry at school because he can’t stop thinking that his mother will die if he is away from her.
• Severe anxiety is unrealistic. A girl might be afraid of burglars robbing the house. Someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) might think burglars will come unless she touches everything in her room twice.
• Severe anxiety doesn’t go away. While anxiety symptoms are common and even expected after a disturbing experience such as a car accident or a flood, over time most children bounce back. Six months later a boy with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) will still be having nightmares.
• Severe anxiety leads to avoidance. A girl might be nervous about going to a birthday party. A girl with a specific phobia of clowns might refuse to go to birthday parties at all because she’s afraid that a clown may be there.

What can a parent do?

For a child experiencing normal anxiety, here are a few suggestions that you can do to help:

1. Listen to them and let them express their anxiety. Saying “there’s nothing to be worried about” or “don’t worry about it” does not ease their fears.  It can make them feel as if you don’t understand or didn’t listen.  Instead, validate their feelings by saying things like “I hear you’re feeling scared.  What are you scared/nervous/anxious about? What can we do to help you?"
2. Assist your child in coming up with solutions that can ease their anxiety.  Not only do these teach them new coping skills, but it also empowers them (especially if they can come up with a solution). Once they have developed their coping skills and solutions, have your child state what they can do before or in a situation.
3. Practice relaxation techniques. These can include deep breathing, yoga, or thinking of a calm place. Some of these techniques were covered in our mindfulness post, so please visit this post to practice some strategies.

Below are some additional books and online resources which are extremely helpful in understanding anxiety and learning ways that you can help.

Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 ways to stop the worry cycle and raise courageous and independent children by Reid Wilson and Lynn Lyons is a wonderful book to help you understand and reframe what you know about anxiety and how you can help your child. It is recommended for ages 8-18, but if your child is younger you can still learn some great information.

                                                            

Playing with anxiety: Casey's guide for teens and kids: Click on this link for a free downloadable book to be read with your child! Casey tells her story of anxiety and how she discovered 7 strategies that changed her life. This book is also by the authors of the Anxious Kids, Anxious parents book and can be used in conjunction with that book, or on its own.

Great Anxiety website: Go to this website for some wonderful information about all types of anxiety, including information about how to talk with your child about anxiety, and a very helpful toolkit section. 

What to do when you Worry too much: A kid's guide to overcoming anxiety is a workbook by Dawn Huebner that you can do with your child to help them understand their anxiety or worry, and develop strategies that they can use.

                                                           

Our favorite blog with books to help kids with all sorts of topics has a wonderful list of books that deal with worry and anxiety. Please visit Books that heal for a complete list of books!

Here is another informative website with great information on anxiety and another book list! The child anxiety network is run by Dr. Donna Pincus, PhD. She is an Associate Professor at Boston University, and the Director of the Child and Adolescent Fear and Anxiety Treatment Program at the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University. 

Welcome Back!

At the beginning of each school year we enjoy meeting our new students in pre-first, first and second grades, as well as meeting all of our new kindergarteners! This year we had 27 new students who were included in our new student groups. They had the opportunity to meet other new friends, tour Nabnasset School, meet key support staff, share their experience of being new to school and participate in some fun activities!

Here is a picture of the bulletin board they helped to create!




We hope that our new friends are making friends and learning all about how to RISE to be a NAB STAR!!


Problem solving and Bullying Prevention lessons:

In addition to welcoming all students to Nabnasset School this month, September is also the time when we visit all the first grade classes and pre-first for 3 review guidance lessons. Our second grade lessons will begin in October. Below is a description of the concepts which we review in these first 3 lessons.

First lesson:

• SOLUTION WHEEL: Review/learn how to use 3 solutions before asking for help. 
• “DOUBLE D” RULE”: Our guide to help them decide when to tell an adult about a concern (if it is DANGEROUS or DESTRUCTIVE) and when to use the solution wheel.
• ASKING FOR HELP: Student can always ask for help if they are not sure or have tried 3 solutions and the problem is still happening. 

Second lesson:

• Focused on defining TEASING and BULLYING and the difference between NORMAL CONFLICT and BULLYING.
• TEASING: a single incident of someone using hurtful words directed at them which they might be able to handle using the solution wheel.
• BULLYING: Hurtful actions or words that are: Repeated; One-sided; unfair…that make you feel: Scared; Alone; Sad; or Unsafe.
• NORMAL CONFLICT: Happens occasionally between people of equal power; involves mutual emotional reactions, remorse and effort to take responsibility to solve the problem. Normal conflict is not serious or emotionally damaging to the other person.
• Students viewed a movie called “Sticks and Stones” which clearly showed the difference between a teasing incident which was solved using several solutions and a bullying incident which was solved by “talking it out” with the principal.
• Review: They can try 2 to 3 solutions for a teasing problem.
• If the problem keeps happening they can report the problem (see ASKING FOR HELP).
• UPSTANDER: We began a discussion about how to be an upstander. The 3 steps they learn are:
• If it is safe, tell the person to stop
• Ask the person being teased to come play
• Get help if the problem is a "Double D" or if it continues.

Third lesson:

•  Review of differences between teasing and bullying
•   Focus on how to be an “UPSTANDER” as opposed to being a “BYSTANDER”.  The book entitled Say Something by Peggy Moss is read in first grade/pre-first in order to help the children learn what an upstander is and how to be one. They learned that if they see bullying or teasing going on they can help out by going over to the person who is being teased. They should never fight, but they can tell the person being mean to stop, (if they feel safe), ask the person being teased/bullied to come play, and help them to get help from a grownup.
• The UPSTANDER poem they learned is:  
  

                             

 Summer Hiatus

Mrs. MacKinnon and I want to wish everyone a happy, safe, relaxing and fun summer! We look forward to the return of our Kindergarten, Pre-First, First and Second Grade students in August.

If you are wondering about some fun activities to do with you family this summer, here are a few places to look for some suggestions:

1) The Kids Activity Blog

2) Try this book: 101 Kids activities that are the bestest, funnest ever! by Holly Homer and Rachel Miller










To the Class of 2026: We want to say it's been fun having you for the past several years! "Good Luck" at Abbot or wherever you may go.  We are sure you all will achieve great things up at our sister school.  Remember, one chapter in your life may have ended, but a new and exciting adventure awaits you in September!  Come back and visit us!

This is our last post of the 2015-2016 school year.  However, check back in August for our new post about helping your children transition back into the school year.

Mrs. Reynolds & Mrs. MacKinnon