Zones of Regulation

Learning about feelings/emotions, and learning how to regulate emotions can be difficult and challenging tasks for everyone. At Nabnasset we have been using a wonderful program called the Zones of Regulation by Leah Kuypers to help teach these skills to our students. We use this program with our small counseling groups, and we also teach some of the information to our second graders in their classroom guidance lessons. We would like to share with you some of the basic skills that the students are learning in their lessons.

First students learn that feelings can be divided into 4 basic zones based on one's level of alertness and/or level of energy that one is experiencing in their body. Once they have an understanding of feelings (how feelings arise, internal body signals) they begin to learn a variety of tools to use in order to manage their feelings in the zones.

Blue zone is used to describe a low state of alertness and low energy. Some blue zone feelings are: Sad, lonely, tired, sick, or bored.

Green zone is used to describe the ideal "just right" state of alertness - one's energy is just right for the situation they are in. Some green zone feelings are: happy, relaxed/calm, confident, focused, and proud.

Yellow zone is used to describe a heightened state of alertness, one's energy level is starting to go up. Some yellow zone feelings are: Excited, worried, frustrated, nervous, upset, and silly.

Red zone is used to describe an extremely heightened state of alertness, one's energy level is very high. Some red zone feelings are: Mad/angry, very frustrated, very excited, and out of control.

It is very important to teach your child that experiencing their feelings, and being in any of the zones is not bad/wrong. The important skills that the students need to learn are how to recognize their feelings, and how to use tools to manage their feelings in the different zones.

In a very informative article discussing how to manage your zones (click here for complete article) Leah Kuypers writes: "Feelings are innate; they make us human and are part of the fabric of life. Our feelings are windows into the thoughts and perspectives we hold toward a situation, a person, or an event. As a mom and therapist, I catch myself from time to time telling someone, “Don’t worry…” or “Don’t be sad…” only to remind myself “It’s too late, the other person is already worried or sad.” Rather than offering support in the form of telling others not to feel this way or that, we can help people manage the feelings they are experiencing in an adaptive and prosocial way. I created The Zones of Regulation (The Zones) to help us do just that: support people in managing all the feelings they experience, without passing judgment on what people are feeling or how they are behaving."

Here are 2 charts which we use to help students:
This first chart helps students learn to label some of the different feelings in the 4 zones:

This next chart helps students learn a variety of tools they can learn and practice to help manage their feelings in the different zones. It is very helpful to practice the strategies with your child when they are calm, and have them pick the strategies that will work best for them.

Additional Resources:

1) Reading books about feelings is a great way to introduce your child to all different feelings. One of our favorites is: The Way I Feel by Janan Cain.

2) More feelings books to explore - click here!

3) Go to this zones of regulation blog to explore some video clips of different characters in the different zones!

4) Here are some fun Pinterest ideas if you are looking for some visual tools to use at home!

Understanding Anxiety

Everyone experiences anxiety in their lifetime.  The most common occurrences arise when meeting new people or in new experiences as well as when facing big challenges, such as giving a presentation at work or school.  It is completely natural to feel this way during these situations. Such feelings can induce various sensations such as: fluttering stomach, sweaty palms, racing heart, increased breathing, and thinking about the “what ifs”.

Here are some of the common fears found in school-aged children:

YOUNG CHILDREN: Imaginary figures (e.g., ghosts, monsters, supernatural beings), the dark, noises, sleeping alone, thunder, floods) 

OLDER CHILDREN/ADOLESCENTS: more realistic fears (e.g., physical injury, health, school performance, death, thunderstorms, earthquakes, floods).

How can one tell if anxiety is at a normal reaction or becoming more severe (an anxiety disorder)?

Jerome Bubrick, PhD., Senior Director of the Anxiety and Mood Disorders Center at the Child Mind Institute, offers the following guidelines:

• Severe anxiety is out of proportion. A second grader might be nervous about taking a spelling test. A boy with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) might be so worried that he starts studying for the test a week early and loses sleep for days.
• Severe anxiety is being overly self-conscious. A girl might be nervous before performing in her first recital. Someone with social anxiety disorder might have a panic attack prior to ordering in a restaurant.
• Severe anxiety is often unwanted and uncontrollable. A typical kindergartener might cry at school because he misses his mother. An older boy with separation anxiety disorder might cry at school because he can’t stop thinking that his mother will die if he is away from her.
• Severe anxiety is unrealistic. A girl might be afraid of burglars robbing the house. Someone with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) might think burglars will come unless she touches everything in her room twice.
• Severe anxiety doesn’t go away. While anxiety symptoms are common and even expected after a disturbing experience such as a car accident or a flood, over time most children bounce back. Six months later a boy with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) will still be having nightmares.
• Severe anxiety leads to avoidance. A girl might be nervous about going to a birthday party. A girl with a specific phobia of clowns might refuse to go to birthday parties at all because she’s afraid that a clown may be there.

What can a parent do?

For a child experiencing normal anxiety, here are a few suggestions that you can do to help:

1. Listen to them and let them express their anxiety. Saying “there’s nothing to be worried about” or “don’t worry about it” does not ease their fears.  It can make them feel as if you don’t understand or didn’t listen.  Instead, validate their feelings by saying things like “I hear you’re feeling scared.  What are you scared/nervous/anxious about? What can we do to help you?"
2. Assist your child in coming up with solutions that can ease their anxiety.  Not only do these teach them new coping skills, but it also empowers them (especially if they can come up with a solution). Once they have developed their coping skills and solutions, have your child state what they can do before or in a situation.
3. Practice relaxation techniques. These can include deep breathing, yoga, or thinking of a calm place. Some of these techniques were covered in our mindfulness post, so please visit this post to practice some strategies.

Below are some additional books and online resources which are extremely helpful in understanding anxiety and learning ways that you can help.

Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 ways to stop the worry cycle and raise courageous and independent children by Reid Wilson and Lynn Lyons is a wonderful book to help you understand and reframe what you know about anxiety and how you can help your child. It is recommended for ages 8-18, but if your child is younger you can still learn some great information.

                                                            

Playing with anxiety: Casey's guide for teens and kids: Click on this link for a free downloadable book to be read with your child! Casey tells her story of anxiety and how she discovered 7 strategies that changed her life. This book is also by the authors of the Anxious Kids, Anxious parents book and can be used in conjunction with that book, or on its own.

Great Anxiety website: Go to this website for some wonderful information about all types of anxiety, including information about how to talk with your child about anxiety, and a very helpful toolkit section. 

What to do when you Worry too much: A kid's guide to overcoming anxiety is a workbook by Dawn Huebner that you can do with your child to help them understand their anxiety or worry, and develop strategies that they can use.

                                                           

Our favorite blog with books to help kids with all sorts of topics has a wonderful list of books that deal with worry and anxiety. Please visit Books that heal for a complete list of books!

Here is another informative website with great information on anxiety and another book list! The child anxiety network is run by Dr. Donna Pincus, PhD. She is an Associate Professor at Boston University, and the Director of the Child and Adolescent Fear and Anxiety Treatment Program at the Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders at Boston University. 

Welcome Back!

At the beginning of each school year we enjoy meeting our new students in pre-first, first and second grades, as well as meeting all of our new kindergarteners! This year we had 27 new students who were included in our new student groups. They had the opportunity to meet other new friends, tour Nabnasset School, meet key support staff, share their experience of being new to school and participate in some fun activities!

Here is a picture of the bulletin board they helped to create!




We hope that our new friends are making friends and learning all about how to RISE to be a NAB STAR!!


Problem solving and Bullying Prevention lessons:

In addition to welcoming all students to Nabnasset School this month, September is also the time when we visit all the first grade classes and pre-first for 3 review guidance lessons. Our second grade lessons will begin in October. Below is a description of the concepts which we review in these first 3 lessons.

First lesson:

• SOLUTION WHEEL: Review/learn how to use 3 solutions before asking for help. 
• “DOUBLE D” RULE”: Our guide to help them decide when to tell an adult about a concern (if it is DANGEROUS or DESTRUCTIVE) and when to use the solution wheel.
• ASKING FOR HELP: Student can always ask for help if they are not sure or have tried 3 solutions and the problem is still happening. 

Second lesson:

• Focused on defining TEASING and BULLYING and the difference between NORMAL CONFLICT and BULLYING.
• TEASING: a single incident of someone using hurtful words directed at them which they might be able to handle using the solution wheel.
• BULLYING: Hurtful actions or words that are: Repeated; One-sided; unfair…that make you feel: Scared; Alone; Sad; or Unsafe.
• NORMAL CONFLICT: Happens occasionally between people of equal power; involves mutual emotional reactions, remorse and effort to take responsibility to solve the problem. Normal conflict is not serious or emotionally damaging to the other person.
• Students viewed a movie called “Sticks and Stones” which clearly showed the difference between a teasing incident which was solved using several solutions and a bullying incident which was solved by “talking it out” with the principal.
• Review: They can try 2 to 3 solutions for a teasing problem.
• If the problem keeps happening they can report the problem (see ASKING FOR HELP).
• UPSTANDER: We began a discussion about how to be an upstander. The 3 steps they learn are:
• If it is safe, tell the person to stop
• Ask the person being teased to come play
• Get help if the problem is a "Double D" or if it continues.

Third lesson:

•  Review of differences between teasing and bullying
•   Focus on how to be an “UPSTANDER” as opposed to being a “BYSTANDER”.  The book entitled Say Something by Peggy Moss is read in first grade/pre-first in order to help the children learn what an upstander is and how to be one. They learned that if they see bullying or teasing going on they can help out by going over to the person who is being teased. They should never fight, but they can tell the person being mean to stop, (if they feel safe), ask the person being teased/bullied to come play, and help them to get help from a grownup.
• The UPSTANDER poem they learned is:  
  

                             

 Summer Hiatus

Mrs. MacKinnon and I want to wish everyone a happy, safe, relaxing and fun summer! We look forward to the return of our Kindergarten, Pre-First, First and Second Grade students in August.

If you are wondering about some fun activities to do with you family this summer, here are a few places to look for some suggestions:

1) The Kids Activity Blog

2) Try this book: 101 Kids activities that are the bestest, funnest ever! by Holly Homer and Rachel Miller










To the Class of 2026: We want to say it's been fun having you for the past several years! "Good Luck" at Abbot or wherever you may go.  We are sure you all will achieve great things up at our sister school.  Remember, one chapter in your life may have ended, but a new and exciting adventure awaits you in September!  Come back and visit us!

This is our last post of the 2015-2016 school year.  However, check back in August for our new post about helping your children transition back into the school year.

Mrs. Reynolds & Mrs. MacKinnon

Mindset Matters!

Mindset Matters!

Does your child tend to get frustrated with mistakes and give up easily? Do you say that it’s important to learn from mistakes, but then not really have an explanation of why that is true?

Research has shown that students who believe and understand that they can improve their intelligence, truly growing and strengthening their brain from participating in challenging learning experiences and making mistakes, will do better in life. World-renowned Stanford University Psychologist Carol Dweck calls this a growth mindset. Below are 2 links that will bring you to some more information on her book and an informative Ted Talk Video.

1) Check out this website: You will be exploring information about what is a mindset, as well as articles and further information about Carol Dweck's book called Mindset.

2) TEDtalk video : Listen to Carol Dweck explain the power of a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset. 

You might make some connections as to how you can apply this way of thinking to understanding your own child or to understanding yourself!

Mrs. Reynolds and myself are true believers in helping our students understand how they can help their  brains grow and develop. One book we use to teach them how the brain works, and how we can help our brains grow through making mistakes and trying challenging activities is called 

The Fantastic Elastic Brain by JoAnn Deak.

Some other wonderful books to read with your child are:

The Girl who never made mistakes by Mark Pett and Gary Rubinstein

What do you do with an idea? By Kobi Yamada

Read aloud on Youtube of What do you do with an idea?

The Dot by Peter Reynolds
Ish by Peter Reynolds

If you are interested in more books (with reviews) for your child, please check out this wonderful blog!

We also teach our students about phrases they can say to help them have a growth mindset when they make mistakes. Here are just a few ideas of this language.

Finally, here are some GREAT videos to watch with your child. This is a series of videos made for students to help them understand their brain, and how their brain grows stronger and learns more from making mistakes. Please watch with your child and discuss what you learn and discover about learning and a having a positive growth mindset!! 

Mindfulness

On the afternoon of Wednesday, Feb. 10^th, the staff of Nabnasset were treated to a Professional Development workshop given by Brenda Feingold regarding Mindfulness to help us regain focus and reduce stress and anxiety.  Ms. Feingold has been studying and teaching mindfulness and its benefits for the past 15 years. She has spoken at many schools and businesses/corporations in and around the Boston area.

Mindfulness is considered to be a foundation to increasing resilience and balance in your life.  It also improves one’s well-being and has an impact on all aspects of physical and emotional health.  Some benefits include: increased energy, the ability to respond more effectively in stressful situations, impulse control, increased focus and increased confidence.

What is mindfulness?  Mindfulness is deliberately paying attention to what you experiencing in the moment and to do so with kindness and without judgment.  That is, instead of worrying about past or future actions, one focuses on the “here and now”, being fully in the present.  With mindfulness, we can focus on what makes us happy as well as what factors contribute to unhappiness, thus allowing one to do something about it. It also allows us to reflect on our current experience and learn new ways to relate, thus reducing stress.

A wonderful book to read with your child is called Mindful Monkey, Happy Panda by Lauren Alderfer. This story offers a wonderful explanation of the importance of practicing mindfulness. We have been reading this book to many of our small counseling groups to help the students begin to practice mindfulness.

What are the symptoms of stress? Some common symptoms of stress include:

• Berating oneself with negative thinking - "I can't do it", “I’m dumb”, “I’ll never get this”

• Headaches

• Stomachaches

• Trouble paying attention

• Irritability

• Forgetfulness

• Difficulty making decisions

• Lashing out at others

• Difficulty concentrating

What can I do to help reduce stress in myself or my child? Introducing and including mindfulness into your life doesn’t have to be time consuming.  Mindfulness exercises can take as little as 10 minutes to complete.  The amount of time you spend is up to you and your schedule, but it does help to build a little mindfulness time into your daily routine.  Some tips to bring mindfulness into your life are:

• Take 4-5-6 breaths (breathe in for the count of 4, hold your breath for the count of 5, and breathe out for the count of 6 –pursing your lips like blowing out through a straw)

• Take 3 deep belly breaths

• Maintaining quiet and still bodies for 1 minute. Listen to all the sounds around you

•   Practice mindful yoga

• Take a mindful nature walk - stop and listen to all the sounds, stop and look all around you

• Make mindfulness bottles with your children (for directions click here) 

•  Use the relaxation wheel for more calming down tools!

               

                 

Practicing these exercises as well as other mindfulness techniques found below, will allow for a more rich, satisfying life experience. 

Mindfulness book reviews

Kids Relaxation blog with lots of relaxation activities

Guided Mindfulness Meditations for Children

8 Ways to Teach Mindfulness to Kids (article)